What exactly is the purpose of life?

Is it perfection for what we should strive.

Participated in the never ending struggle and constant drive,

The meaning of life I still can’t derive.

Maybe we all need to just constantly survive,

Or just protect our soul so it could then thrive.

Responsibilities are everywhere and one has to take in a dive,

I like to believe this is the only way to feel alive.

-Shivesh Gupta

When you are sad

It makes me sad when you are sad,

And smile on your face I am not able to add.

Even though the problem seems now too bad,

It won’t last for which I am glad.

You have me and I have you,

That’s all we need and you know it’s true.

Like in tulip filed bonkers goes bumble bee,

Will always try to keep you happy and glee.


Sorrow and life.

Is this world not badly messed,
Where all are finding reasons to feel blessed.

The continent looks like God’s coffee spill,

Wonder then if it was his plan or will.

Right from when we open our eyes,

It’s a mad rush to be wiser than wise.

It’s a day eat dog world they say,

To survive one must then find his own way.

Wish life came with a  manual of guide,

So to know the unimportant and to be kept aside.

Doing what I want is taking me no where,

Wonder if I even know my purpose here.

Running after my happiness I am without rest,

Then why in return I feel such a waste.

Once I was told this life is a gift,

So when this got into a tragic shift.

Maybe I should not think about it at all,

And just enjoy the crazy free fall.

Happily I must accept the joy and sorrow,

While praying for a happy and beautiful tomorrow.

Maybe then the world would seem a bit nice,

Even with all its fugility and vice.

-Shivesh Gupta

Torn we are.

Torn we are between here and there,

But it is with you I want to be everywhere.

The pain of separation with you I can share,

Other’s don’t bother and neither do they care.

The distance is not really what I fear,

But it is the thought of you not being near.

So often it’s your picture I stare,

Trying to reach you climbing some imaginary stairs.





Not an excuse.

You say I don’t express my love anymore,

I didn’t know that we were keeping a score.

I might not say it a lot,

But in my head I repeat it non-stop.

So doesn’t matter I say it or not,

Remember you are all I have got.

I am not here to make any excuse,

Even from billion it’s you I’ll choose.

-Shivesh Gupta



How blessed I am.

Being away might make you feel frustrated,

But I promise you will never feel deserted.

Hardly now we get to talk,

So stuffs I have to say I keep in stock.

Don’t think that I don’t think about you,

I miss you at times more than few.

This distance sure can make one feel helpless,

It’s worth it as on your love has it’s bless.

-Shivesh Gupta


Stars and Moon.



Since I can’t meet you soon,

I compare your beauty to stars and the moon.

Love is not something to be tied to a chain,

But staying away from you is full of pain.

Like daily comes and goes the tide,

You thought stays always by my side.

Like a shadow that to stay with you tries,

I am always around you in disguise.

-Shivesh Gupta

Memories that came.



The splattering rains today rekindled memories few,

Like on leaves winter leaves the morning dew.

I wonder now if it’s rain there,

Hiding from me you are where.

Does rainbow there forms on ground,

And even flowers there make a giggling sound.

Are clouds there made of cotton candy,

So does eating them comes really handy.

Birds there must be of various colours,

Paint the sky does they with their valour.

Houses there must be of flower brick,

How they hold together then must be the real trick.

I wonder if about me you ever think,

Or am I now lost count of countless blink.

I wonder if it rains there,

And if that makes you remember of I am where.

The rain today brought along memories of you,

After ages also which seems new.


-Shivesh Gupta

Always free.

Like an idle useless old tree,

I am for you always free.

Confused I am about the time,

Like in darkness one is counting dimes.

Unless autumn when a leaf from tree fall,

You don’t need any reason to call.

So make me hear your beautiful voice,

Whenever you want it’s your choice.

-Shivesh Gupta

Always there.

So what the photos got deleted,

Our memories are now permanently created.

Don’t you ever get sad or feel hurt,

Remember you are always there in my heart.

We will click more pics this is not the end,

Those broken memories we will someday mend.

So stay happy and don’t lose that smile.

Will come to see you even if have to walk miles after mile.

-Shivesh Gupta

What a time.

What a time to be alive,

I can see your face on screen live,

I am making any kind of hype,

You look beautiful even on skype.

So what if the network is bad,

Your voice still makes me mad.

I know it’s going to be worth the wait,

Still then I am becoming desperate.

As will forward go the year,

We will get more and more near.

-Shivesh Gupta

Too much work.


Little too extra you have to work,

Like in government office does a clerk.

You planned to have so much fun,

Now you work till down goes the sun,

Working might give you joy,

But please don’t forget to enjoy.

Always remember in life this theory,

Never stop making good memories.

-Shivesh Gupta

Momma Mumma Mommins Mom Mother.

DSCN0242 (800x749)

Girlfriends I made quite a few,

But still my true love is for you.

We might get into arguments times quite a few,

But we both know it’s nothing new.

As a guide, mentor and always a friend,

Roles you play has no end.

Someday for all you do I wish I could repay,

But for now let me wish you Happy Mother’s Day.

-Shivesh Gupta


Cold and Flu.

So strongly you sneeze,

That it feels like a strong breeze.

Careless you are about your health,

You treat it like an unaccounted wealth.

Such bad you have caught a cold,

It is making you clean bowled.

I hope you fix quickly your flu and cold,

Else I will have to come and give you a scold.

– Shivesh Gupta

 (When bae has a terrible cold and flu,

And you have no idea what to do,

and you are feeling helpless without a clue.)

Because since…


Since we can’t together wine and dine,

I send you poems which I try to rhyme.

Life without you feels so empty,

LIke after the meal you get no Coke but Pepsi.

I know you are there for a good cause,

But my happiness here has since been on pause.

Like every day I need that coffee filled mug,

Craving now I am for your warm hug.

-Shivesh Gupta

Everything about you


So healing is your laugh,

It cuts my stress into a half.

So sweet is your voice,

It will always be my music of choice.

So cute is your nose,

Makes you look good in every pose.

So charming is your eye,

Make me want to do all sorts of vice.

So juicy are your lips,

Kissing them makes my heart do flips.

You are in every way a beauty divine,

I am so glad I can call you mine.

-Shivesh Gupta

Keeping Calm.

Always try to keep cool and calm,

People say it’s the most effective balm.

Don’t diminish your personality’s charm,

For the people who cause nothing but harm.

So even if there is in your a heart a storm,

Remember I am here like a hug that’s warm.

-Shivesh Gupta

Stuck at Work.

Give you 100% there at work,

Let not depression make you lurk.

Remember there only for a year you are stuck.

Darkness might seem to be now around the clock,

But I know you will clear this block.

My love for you I am keeping in stock,

Will give you all when we will hand in hand walk.

-Shivesh Gupta

P.S- Things you have to do to make her not feel “Home Sick”. 😀


I hope your stay there is full of enjoyment,

And you don’t end up having any kind of resentment.

I know for you it’s just not just about employment,

Too many attached with it are sentiments.

Your being safe there is my concern paramount,

After all for me it’s only your happiness that count.

Shivesh Gupta

Everything so wasted.


I feel so frustrated,

As if all my bones are rusted.

Good old days now seem to be dusted,

Too much in my luck maybe I trusted.

Some might say that it’s all overhyped,

But problems I wish could just be sublimed.

Hope someday I won’t feel so disgusted,

But time already seems too much wasted.

Her presence in my life seems perfectly time,

With her support I will now ladder of success climb.

-Shivesh Gupta

Miss you so bad.


I might not get to see you this year,

That’s the only thing I fear.

I miss you so badly my dear,

I always pray for you to be near.

There’s just one hurdle that has to be clear,

Then life will be smooth chilled beer.

But till then this pain we have to bear,

Thinking of all the good times to keep the heart full of cheer.

– Shivesh Gupta

Pseudo freedom.


Warriors whose weapons are keyboards,

Do you realise that nation is being gored?

You justify stones being pelt,

Use of logic seems you never felt.

Some say army is causing all the trouble,

And without them troubles will disappear like bubbles. 

But when trouble knocks you call them for help, 

I wonder why is it then you yelp? 

Being misguided are these innocent youths,

Forced to behave in a manner uncouth.

A lot of responsibility comes with freedom,

It is useless without being backed by wisdom.

So shun these useless and needless demands,

The desire to take control and make command.

Instead now let’s take a stand,

To make it once again that beautiful land.

-Shivesh Gupta


Your hand to hold.

My love for you will increase fourfold,

The day I get to see you in white and gold.

Soon every day your hand I will get to hold,

Will hold it tight like ice cubes in a mould.

Distance makes the heart go cold,

Or so I have been told.

But this heart is made of gold,

And to you now it is sold.

-Shivesh Gupta

p.s- White and gold being traditional bridal wear in my country.


Doubt you on my ability to write more,

DO you think this for me is a daily chore?

These poems won’t stop till you show me the door,

So understand this is not about keeping score.

I know this might sound like a metaphor,

But for you I can write till it will fill all the bookstore.

I love you from my heart’s deepest core,

It is from there that these words for poems pour.

– Shivesh Gupta


20170421_234734What exactly is the purpose of life?

Is it perfection for what we should strive.

Participated in the never ending struggle and constant drive,

The meaning of life I still can’t derive.

Maybe we all need to just constantly survive,

Or just protect our soul so it could then thrive. 

Responsibilities are everywhere and one has to take in a dive,

I like to believe this is the only way to feel alive.  

-Shivesh Gupta

Happy with her?

Asks she if I am happy with her,

Or is it is a never ending for me a suffer?

Don’t judge me by what I online post,

They are as insignificant as a French toast.

Leading life away from you is a bit scrappy,

Maybe that’s why I sometimes behave a little haughty.

This distance sure has a lot to yet teach,

But its infinity and beyond where we have to reach.

-Shivesh Gupta

Speed Internet… Fast WiFi.

I wish we are blessed with a powerful internet,

It just helps to keep everything under set.

After a long day of work and no rest,

Speaking to you is the only thing that motivate.

Listening to your voice I hardly get,

And when I can’t it makes my eyes wet.

Waiting for the day we can hug each other every day,

Till then it’s for uninterrupted internet I pray.

-Shivesh Gupta

p.s- Perils of long distance relationship.

Where are the good days?

Ask you always when good days will come?

Staying away from you is now getting tiresome.

Looking forward to the time that won’t be so blue,

The happiness we get is not much but few.

The solution is unknown and I got no clue.

But remember the happiness is not far from due.

So let’s do the thing we only can now do,

Stick together like like a strong powerful glue.

-Shivesh Gupta

On A Mission.

Out I am on a mission,

To love you with intensity stronger than the sun.

Plan is to have so much fun,

The hangover of which cannot be undone.

With you in my life everything I have won,

Your love hit me like a car in hit and run.

Still every time I see you I get stunned,

All by your beauty and nothing and none.

-Shivesh Gupta


Bittersweet Pills

In the spikes of her unruly hair

In the brown warmth of her eyes

In the glint of her wicked smile

In the love softness of her skin

In the proud swell of her curves

In the sunlight of her soul,

He found himself.

And finding him empty, nothing,

She left him –

And within every tiny fiber of herself,

She found him.

View original post

Beautiful you.

Like an ocean on sunshine day,

Glitters your eyes in exact same way.

Dark as forest which to explore no one dare, 

Such is dark and lustrous your hair.  

Like a music which makes people rejoice, 

So is melancholic and sweet your voice.  

I bow my head to such beauty and glow,

With a promise to love you from head to toe. 

– Shivesh Gupta

Dat Ass Though.

Blessed you are with a beautiful ass,

That can’t be ignored every time you pass.

Right and left it sways when you move,

Smooth it looks like the fly of a dove.

Round and soft it wiggles as you move,

Just a view and my heart start to groove.

A song should be played at full volume and bass,

All but nothing about your round smooth ass.

p.s- The advantage of long distance relationship- your partner can’t murder you when you do (Write) such stuff 😛

– Shivesh Gupta

Fight :(

Small or light,

A fight is a fight.

We know it well,

it’s not right.

Gathering all its might,

It destroys us like a termite.

Love is there,

We know it right.

Then why we explode,

Every time like a dynamite.

When we both want,

To stay together till infinite. 


Just a year.

A poem a day for the one who inspires them.

Far away that she is now, 

I don’t know to fix myself how.

Bad and sad is now situation such, 

I am missing her a little extra too much.

Instead of desperately thinking of her like fool, 

I decided to use my desperateness as tool.

Will write poems for her like a fool, 

Which will surely make her drool.

Shivesh Gupta. 



Hey Soulmate…


I believe I am a little old school. I am not going to call you “Baby” or “Sugar” or “Bae” (-_-). Hell I don’t even consider you my girlfriend! Because what I feel when I am with you and what we both have together is definitely above any kind of vague titles or tags.
After so many heart breaks and after my heart being shattered into million pieces you still make me feel like I am falling in love for the first time. It sure feels like one of those cute school puppy romance.
When someone can love you this much and in return can make you love her so much you don’t call that woman your girlfriend, she is above that because that lady is your soulmate!
Why a soulmate? Well because relationship you can end, friendship you can break and pretty face you might forget! But someone tell me how can you even get separated from your soul. There us no way and there is some kind of magic in this universe that somehow in some crazy way gets you with the one who us meant for you the one who will make you love them like retard , the one with whom you can have a real and actual conversation , the one with whom you get to grow old with… the one who complete you as a human being!
God bless such soul God bless the soulmate!

The illusion of loneliness.

Loneliness is so overrated,
Can we ever be lonely even for a moment?
I think not.
In this world that’s full of chaos,
Loneliness is a luxury.
Everything around you is in conspiracy to give you company.
Everything around is a constant reminder that you can never be lonely.
The constant ticking of clock,
The song of the crickets.
This makes me wonder then,
Why people need to be lonely and alone?
Why do they carve for something that they cannot have?
Maybe the question itself is an answer.
It’s human nature to want something they cannot get.
Fact is different from what it appears.
Most people don’t want to be lonely,
They just want the illusion of loneliness.

I often wonder…

I often wonder when alone,
how does her voice sound?
Is it as beautiful as this loneliness,
that conveys everything even without saying.

I often wonder when in crowd,
how does her voice sound?
Is it as authoritative as this crowd,
that even among so much clutter always makes itself  heard.

I often wonder when among friends,
how does her voice sound?
Is it as familiar as the voices of my known,
that despite hearing it for the first time I’ll get a feeling of belonging.

I often wonder when surrounded by strangers,
how does her voice sound?
Is it as mysterious as these unknown voices,
that despite not belonging to me never leaves me alone.

I often wonder when wandering aimlessly,
how does her voice sound?
Is it like this unknown path,
that despite being unknown will take me to somewhere someday.

I often wonder when thinking about her,
how does her voice sound?
Is it as beautiful as she is,
that it can so prove that something can be more beautiful than her.

I often wonder when alone,
How does her voice sound…


“What is happiness?
Just sadness a little less.”

Writings of the Black Rose

What is happiness? 
Just sadness a little less.
Or maybe a chance, 
To party n dance.

As a matter of fact, 
Happiness is abstract.
Today’s sorrow
Can make you smile tomorrow.

Life is meant to smile, 
Leave aside your worries for a while.
Let the colours fly, 
Never may a soul cry.

To be happy is in your hand, 
Don’t wait for a reason grand.
Just look around you, 
Contented are very few.

Happiness needs no occasion, 
Its a game of positive vision.
It can change your life forever, 
And let you fall never.

I, myself smile a lot
I maybe happy, maybe not.
It doesn’t lessen your pain,
But, it does help you gain.

Its a contagious disease,
Let the virus release. 
Be the reason, for a while, 
Of someone’s precious smile.

You might have a frowning brow,
But don’t let your smile go.
Its one thing you can’t…

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The girl who loved pouting.

Dimpy the dimple girl was really happy that day. Her father gifted her new android phone. Dimpy was a teen aged girl who likes any other teen ager instantly made her account on Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter, Instagram and every other social media platform that one could possibly think of.

Her android connected her to the world but disconnected her to her near and dear ones. All day and all the time she would be busy with her new phone. She once was a playful girl who used to spend her entire day playing and jumping around from one place to other. But all these changed since the day she got her phone. Her parents her friends her teachers everyone tried to explain her about the ill effects of using too much phone. But Dimpy was one stubborn girl. She paid no heed to anyone and continued spending her time with her new phone. All day long she was busy texting; chatting, updating status, tweeting and most importantly she spent her time clicking selfies!!
Now as we all know that Dimpy the dimple girl was a mere teenager, and we also know how easily teenagers get bored of anything. So that happened, not even a month passed when Dimpy started getting bored of her phone. A time so came that Dimpy even stopped using her phone except to call her friends or to receive calls from her friend. This made everyone happy as Dimpy was now back to being that happy and playful girl that she once was.

Another few months passed and everything was back to being so normal as if nothing had ever happened. Dimpy was browsing through a magazine when she saw something strange.
“What is this girl doing??”, she thought.
Dimpy saw a girl taking selfie, there was nothing wrong or weird about that, but the girl taking selfie was making funny kind of face. A really funny pose which Dimpy never saw before. The girl was doing this funny thing with her lips as if she was trying to kiss some imaginary person who was hanging mid air upside down.

Blunder had been made; seed of curiosity had been sowed! Dimpy the dimple girl, who was a silly teenage girl, did what any other girl of her age would have done. She took out her phone from her bag, turned on the front camera and *CLICK*.
Next moment her selfie or should be called her duck faced selfie was posted to almost every social media site.

Then what happened was very obvious! Her pictures were flooded with likes from her friends, her friends of friend and even from people who Dimpy had no idea who they were. Dimpy’s face brightened up!
“OMG OMG OMG I never got so many likes ever for any of my pictures!!”, Dimpy thought to herself.
And so the selfie marathon for Dimpy began. Not just any selfie, “Duck faced pouted selfies” they were.
She clicked selfie while eating, before going for her class, during her class, after her class, while playing, while studying and you won’t believe this she even clicked selfie before going to bed. Some even said that Dimpy even in her dreams were clicking selfie!
Endless “Likes” on her pictures acted as encouragement for her to click more and more selfies.

Days went by and Dimpy’s birthday came. All her friends came and while they were busy playing all sorts of cool games, Dimpy was busy clicking selfies with all of them. Yes the same “Duck faced pouted selfies”.
Now we should learn this very important lesson. Too much obsession about anything is bad. Dimpy was so much obsessed with clicking selfies that even for her birthday wish, she wish something silly and stupid.
As she blew her birthday candles she wished “Please birthday fairy make my lips into a permanent pout so that I am always ready for a selfie.”

Things as silly and imaginary like birthday wishes never comes true. But that day was different, I don’t know if Dimpy was lucky or unlucky but her wish did come true!
Next morning she got up, still tired for partying till late at night. She went to brush her teeth, half sleepy. But then!! The moment she tried to put brush in her mouth, she couldn’t. She opened her eyes wide not knowing what just happened. She was stunned!
Her lips were pouted and just pouted they were permanently pouted. Just the way she had wished for last night.
Now normally anyone would have been worried and would have been panic stricken. Dimpy did not. In fact she did something unexpected, actually not that unexpected, she clicked a selfie!

Everyone was shocked! Her mother her father and even her pet dog was looking at Dimpy in shock. Dimpy couldn’t have cared less.
“It’s no big deal mommins.” she told her mother when asked about her lips.
Saying this stretched to grab the yummy pan cakes her mom had made. But the moment she tried to take a bite of it…she could not. Her lips were so pouted that it was not only difficult to take a bite of pancakes but it was impossible to even put it in her mouth. Dimpy became sad. Pan cakes were her favourite.
“But atleast I can take awesome selfies.” Dimpy thought and thus consoled herself.

Dimpy was very excited to go to school that day. Not only because of her newly acquired pout but also because it was her singing competition that day. If there was anything that Dimpy loved more than clicking selfies, then that was singing. She was well prepared for the competition that day; she had been practicing hard for it too.
So being all prepared she went up the stage to perform in front of the judges. She cleared her throat, calmed herself down and then started to sing. But what’s this!!! Dimpy no matter how hard she tried she was not able to sing. And to make the matter worse whatever she was able to sing was sounding like a frog’s croak. Dimpy the dimple girl’s eyes filled with tears and she got down from stage without even finishing her performance. She was heartbroken after that incidence.
“But atleast I can take awesome selfies.” Dimpy thought and thus consoled herself again.

When Dimpy returned back home she was surprised to see her maasi (maternal aunt). She was not able to attend Dimpy’s birthday party last night and so she came to wish her belated happy birthday. She also got her a lovely gift for her birthday. Her maasi knew how much Dimpy like blowing soapy bubbles, so she had gifted her a big bottle of soapy bubble. Dimpy got a big smile on her face. She instantly ran outside to her garden along with her gift, too impatient to and anxious to play with it.
She dipped the handle inside the soapy water and then as she was about to blow it…*pHhtttrrrr*. The bubbles were not forming properly. She was not able to blow the air out correctly, either she was blowing the air out too much or at times she was not able to even to puff the air properly. Poor Dimpy. What a bad day she was having, no pancakes, no singing and now she was not even able to enjoy her soapy bubbles properly.
“But atleast I can take awesome selfies.” Dimpy thought and thus consoled herself yet again.

Down and out Dimpy went inside her house. As she went inside her mother asked her to get freshen up as she was going to prepare cold coffee for everyone. Dimpy again cheered up and a big smile got pasted on her face. She quickly changed herself into fresh clothes and ran towards the dining table. A big glass of cold coffee topped with vanilla ice cream and hot chocolate sauce. She closed her eyes and started to approach slowly towards that lovely sinful coffee. But as she tried to slurp the coffee…! She could not pull up the coffee as the straw was not fitting properly in between her lips. Dimpy was now shattered. She started crying like anything. Her mother her father her maasi everyone tried to console her but she was inconsolable this time.

That night after a very long time Dimpy did not click any selfie. She was lying awake on her bed thinking about the blunder she had made by wishing that silly wish of hers.
“I wish my wish gets taken back and my lips again become normal.”, Dimpy wished as she was trying to think what she will do next.
Luckily when Dimpy was wishing this a fairy was passing from outside her bedroom. She felt sad for Dimpy and so she secretly reversed the wish.
Next morning when Dimpy got up she was overjoyed to find that her lips were now again back to normal. Now she could easily brush her teeth, eat yummy pan cakes, she could sing properly again also she could enjoy blowing soap bubbles and her yummy cold coffee.
But most importantly Dimpy was happy because she now her lovely cute pink lips back. She still used to take selfies after this incidence but not with a duck faced pouted lips but by sporting her lovely smile and even lovelier dimples.

That girl from Delhi…

Dear Diary,

“Strangers are friends we are yet to make.”  I have lost count of how many times I have heard this statement. How can it possibly be true and on the other hand why should it possibly be true! 1.2 billion People and 1.2 billion people yet to be made friends. Still we come across certain people who make us wonder and question the way universe works.

My question is that why he crossed my path. The silent rule of nature is that you should not ask questions whose answers you don’t want. Guess I made that mistake and to pen it down correctly what a beautiful mistake I did!

My life in Delhi in was not going any different from the way it goes for most Delhites. I was basically a girl from Delhi who was fighting various battles including the one where my cultural roots of a typical Amritsar girl was playing the game of “tug of war” with the other side of levis’ and Mango top (Sarojni Nagar) clad modern independent women of modern day Indralok aka Delhi.

Often I used to ask myself that will there be any major change in my life. Love changes people or so have I heard. But love was out of question for me. Reason being that, loving a man pain goes constantly hand in hand. Somehow I was not ready to go through that feeling all over again. Funny, how decisions taken by my stupid and innocent teen heart left such an obnoxious impact on my mature heart. Somehow when I think about him now, I can’t help but wonder how different my life would have been now had he not taken that decision out of anger. But why am I thinking about him now when I know he was not someone with whom I could have spent my rest of my life with. Damn! I think my first kiss that is to be blamed. There is something about that first we shared, so old yet still fresh as newly done tattoo.

Irony is a funny thing, isn’t it! Well my irony of life is that after him to fill the vacuum and to keep myself busy I got the idea of doing a job. Now I am so much into work and all that somehow the feeling of love and fluttering butterflies in my stomach has gone. World induces practicality into your veins. Bu hey I am an independent talented modern women and nothing is sexier than the combination of women and power!

Being single in a big and awesome city like Delhi has its own advantage. You can go to Connaught Place and check out hunks, you don’t have to share your food; you can flirt without any restrictions. But there is only one problem; none of these things are my cup of tea. Except that I often have this feeling that I am natural flirt. Still no matter how hard I try to convince myself that these things will make me happy, I fail.

There is yet another problem and that is that the world is unfair and I am still getting used to it. Just because you choose not to enjoy the perks of being “Single in the City” doesn’t mean that you will be spared of the side effects of being one. And I am not boasting about myself here but if you are “Single” and “Beautiful” to top it, then only Wahe Guru and Mata Rani can save you!

There is this constant battle I am fighting. Not big ones but sure they are some major ones. There is a constant endeavour 2going on inside my head. My Work is the only thing that has the capability of giving me happiness and bestowing my inner self with sense of fulfilment. That is something that defines me, a thing that I have created, something that belongs to me and gives me a sense of belonging. In this ever changing world my work, my art and my creations were the epicentre of my life.

Did I tell you about my work place? Well what to say about it, working in an advertising agency can be a real crunch. I am no feminist or associated with any women empowerment group in any way but still I am going to say this. “YOU NEED TO BE AN IRON LADY” to survive there. Funny thing about people working there is that they try desperately to prove themselves as someone who is drenched in western culture and have mind as broad as Niagara Falls. Unfortunately, just like going to school itself won’t make you a learned person, similarly wearing clothes and shoes brought off some sparkling malls can’t make you modern and westernised. These morons are the same people who will eat “Baingan bharta” at home but will update their facebook status as “enjoying smoked eggplant with sprinkled coriander powder fried in mustard oil.”
But hey! Let this not give an impression about myself as someone outdated. To put it correctly, I am someone who knows the difference between “modern” and being “westernised”. Most importantly I know the importance of keeping your feet on ground.

Being a self proclaimed introvert that I am, I somehow feel connecting to society is easier when done through facebook. Why? Well because for all the reasons it helps me avoid direct conversation with people. Also facebook is like a digital diary where I can update things I love, hate, adore or simply like and no one will or can question me. Funny thing about facebook is that you will be surprised at the fact that people actually get offended so easily and then spend the rest of their time and energy into debating it out with total strangers. Aah… “EGO”!

Can anything good happen because of facebook? Oh shit!!! I again asked a question whose answer I am not really sure I want. Too late universe already heard it. This made a laugh a little in my head. These things never happen for real; least when so many people are constantly asking questions about bigger things in life, about their existence, about their sins, their hopes and what not.
Universe has a real bad sense of humour and hilariously clumsy way of surprising you. The answer came…

Either I asked the question very late or something made me delay asking that question. The answer was already there, safe and resting in the folder of my facebook messenger. Just like his name he was going to bring light to my world. That time I didn’t know this nor did I have any clue about it.

When I first started talking to NJ, love was nowhere in the scene. As a matter of fact it is still not there. What feelings we share or much rather what feelings I have for him is different. I will explain sometime later or rather you will yourself realise what we share. So as about me talking to NJ, there was nothing special or unusual about it initially. Just regular stuff introduction and all that jazz. Hey! I just realised something, making a new friend is much like giving an interview for a job. All you need to make sure is that you both are insane on the same level and voila, Friendship activated! I think the only difference between being a friend and falling in love is that in one your angels are similar and in the latter it’s your devil that should play along well with the devil of other.

After I met or should I say started talking to NJ, nothing changed except for the fact that butterflies who once I assumed were dead, they re-spawned. It was not that he was out of the world and “OH MY GOD HE’S SO HOT” type good looking.
It was something else. Was it his chiselled jaw-lines! I so often used to imagine how beautifully in the humid summer of Karachi his sweat would crawl along those in haw where manner, as if playing join the dots with his sun burnt skin. Or maybe it was his hair, thick and long and black as night. It was much later that I realised the reason as to why I am so attracted to him. His eyes were the reason. So dark, so intense, so mystical as if it is in continuous and never ending search for a prey to cast his black magic on them.
By this time I was almost on the verge of being a lunatic. Not my fault I would say, aren’t we all the same? Dunk in the idea that love and only love can save us.  I believe that Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Soon I learnt one thing about NJ; he was honest and often so honest that it hurts. One thing was for sure now that love is not going to happen here, he was too secretive a person to express emotions. Our demons were same but the game they played was different. What to do when our definition of love and beauty is different! Universe sent a message here for me, there is a difference between “what” we see and “how” we see something.

I continued talking to NJ, despite knowing that there is nothing more to it. Addiction maybe! But was it worth it? Often time I would look for an opportunity to text him or call him but at the same time I used to think that my clingy nature might be irritating him. Only good thing here was that I was still able to think and that was like a validation certificate to the fact that I was still not in love.

It’s not that I hated him I just disagreed with him. Remember how I once explained about how I feel for my work and art. That was the same feeling I was getting from him. You can call me crazy but do trust me when I say that somehow from deep inside my bosom I felt that he belonged with me. Not in a way that I owned him but more like how constellations belong to each other. Not attached but beautiful together, so far yet so close.

Till now I just heard from people that there are certain things that make you insane. In my case it was this “Good looking rascal”. My random thoughts were now all about him. Oh God I was turning insane and its not good or is it?? I don’t know!

I started imagining things about him and with him. Sometimes silly like given the first opportunity I’ll kidnap him and then elope with him to the valleys of Kashmir and there I will stay happily ever after with him, cooking food for him. But then if I do this I probably will have to keep him tied to a chair all his life and so I had to drop this plan.
This happened once. I saw Mougli sleeping and I couldn’t help but go and take a closer look at him. Damn! He looked so calm and peaceful. Sometimes I believe that real definition of world peace should is when everyone can sleep as peacefully and as carefree as a dog. It was when I was looking at Mougli I wondered how it would feel to sleep next to NJ. Sleep as in sleep, not sex! Mind you there’s a difference between the two. Sex is just a consolation for someone who does not understand love. What I wanted was just to lie next to him, covered with just a blanket and both of us so close that it will make even the atoms present there will become jealous. So close that I can feel the warmth of his breath, so close that I can peek inside his naked soul straight through his eyes.
I imagine hugging NJ as we lie together not in any sexual way or as an erotic experiment, but just because I think his softness would fell nice.

You know something. Universe has its own way of silently torturously killing you. NJ is one such example. On one hand I came across this person with whom I cannot possibly live with yet that same person kindled my passions so well.

This time I am not doing that mistake again. I am not asking questions whose answers I am not sure I want to know. Another reason is that this time I know most of the answers to my own questions.

Maybe he crossed my path to teach me something. That falling in love is one thing and falling in love with right person in the right way in right time and in right degree is another. Or maybe we just met so he can deliver a message for me from the universe that one should fall in love with someone who looks at you like you are some magic.

Someday I will fall in love or maybe I already have…

इक बार तो यूं होगा
थोड़ा सा सुकून होगा |
ना दिल में कसक होगी
ना सर पे जुन्नून होगा |

(Maybe someday this will happen,
peace will be upon me,
neither there will be a grudge in my heart,
nor there will be obsession in my mind.)

[ Written for a friend who betrayed her friendship and left as quickly and as silently she came to my life…what a beautiful betrayal it was !!]

So why does onion makes us cry!!

So why does onion makes us cry?? According to what science says it is because

Onions produce the chemical irritant known as syn-propanethial-S-oxide. It stimulates the eyes’ lachrymal glands so they release tears. Scientists used to blame the enzyme allinase for the instability of substances in a cut onion.”

That’s one way to explain it, however there is another theory which is not only better but also interesting. Is it true? I don’t know and honestly I won’t bother myself with knowing if it’s true or not.

The story is…

Once upon a time there lived an old lady. She was so old that she could not have got any older and her hair could not have been any more whiter, And all she used to do was to cook and sleep.
One day she went to market to buy vegetables for cooking. She first bought Tomatoes. Then she bought Capsicum and at last she bought an Onion. She put all three of them in a small bag and started walking back home thinking what she was going to make out of these three.

While the old lad was on her way back home all the three veggies became friends! They promised to remain friends forever and beyond forever and well beyond forever that too. Silly and innocent vegetables were still unaware of what was going to happen to them.

That evening after lot of thinking Old lady finally decided that she will be making Tomato soup. She pulled Mr Tomato out and before Mr Capsicum and Mr Onion could realize what was going on old lady pierced a knife through Mr Tomato instantly killing him! Both of them now realised what exactly was going on and what their fate had in store for them. That night after the old lady went to sleep after enjoying tomato soup made of Mr Tomato, both Mr Capsicum and Mr Onion cried and mourned for the death of their friend.

Next day old lady decided to cook Capsicum curry. And yes as you all have guessed she pulled Mr Capsicum out and WHAAK!!! Mr Capsicum was no more. Such was the force with which old lady sliced him that all of tiny white mentos that Mr Capsicum had eaten were scattered and thrown everywhere. All Mr Onion could do was watch and cry silently.

That night Mr Onion could not sleep. He knew that he was next. He also knew that there is nothing that he can do about it, he was worried that who will remember him when he dies and most importantly will his death matter to anyone!!
He was busy in these thoughts when suddenly a bright light flashed and he saw Miss ladyfingers the queen of vegetables standing in front of him!
“I can understand your pain Mr Onion, and I am here to help you”, said Miss ladyfingers.
Mr Onion was mesmerized by the beauty of Queen asked how was she planning to help him.
Then Miss ladyfingers spurned her magic wand and said that now who ever will kill My Onion or any of his brothers sisters or siblings, they them self-will cry and mourn Onion’s death.

And so next day when Old lady sliced Mr Onion she saw tears flowing out of her eyes and she mourned the death of Mr Onion.

Ever since that day anyone anywhere who kills Onions has to mourn his death himself and all because of Vegetable queen Miss ladyfingers.

[ This was told to me when I was a kid by my maternal grandma, years passed since we last spoke but she still is there in my heart in the form of various stories and adventures she told me. 🙂 ]


“Dude WTF she Friend-zoned me!!”

Some people now days use this word as if it is some sort of derogatory slang. Seriously what happened to the good old days when being friend with a girl was a matter of pride and achievement and not something to be ashamed and be disgusted. Those times when a girl could call any guy her friend and she would not be tagged as some cold hearted bitch who throw every guy into “Friend-zone”. Think about some old movies (actually not that old), where the hero would go to crazy lengths and would do what not lunatic stuff to win the friendship of a girl. Almost every romantic movie of that time had one cheesy line “Will you be my friend…”. It was truly portrayed that friendship is like a launching pad of a good relationship. And if the friendship is good, your relationship will reach its goal as smoothly as Mangalyan reached Mars.

As per Urban dictionary’s (www.urbandictionary.com) definition of Friend zone-

Friend-zone is a state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a “platonic friend” of an attractive female who he was trying to initiate a romantic relationship with.”

So going by this definition one can safely assume that the guy who was trying to initiate a romantic relationship with a girl is fully aware of the fact that he might be rejected and thus after rejection there is bound to be some collateral damage. So there is no valid reason left for a guy to get all worked up when and if their proposal to initiate a romantic relationship is rejected by a girl.

There is a confusion among some guys that being into Friend-zone has something to do with being nice to girls. Often one can hear a guy saying that they were so nice towards a certain girl and despite of that they got friend-zoned. SERIOUSLY!!! So now people are actually so dumb to believe that girls did not get into a relationship with them because they were being “Nice” to them. Since when guys started being nice to girls because they want to get into a romantic relationship with them. My point here is that aren’t guys are supposed to be nice to girls in general? Isn’t that the right thing to do? Going by this logic every guy will be nice to only one (or to) girl who he wants to date! !!

How can one be “nice” when in reality he is expecting something in return for the fact that they are being nice to someone. And girls are not Santa Clause that they will give you the gift of being in relationship with you just because you are being nice to her. As if its a big favor being done to them by treating them nicely. Always remember the illusion being nice is a dangerous thing.

Why people get “friend-zoned”? Reality is that people who get friend-zoned are mostly those people who think girls are dumb! Trust me when I say this, the dumbest thing a guy can think is assuming and believing that girls are dumb. So next time when you compliment a girl do it genuinely, because she knows well that if your compliment is real or not. Most important fact that every guy should know about girls is that they are blessed with the super power of possessing “6th sense”. They can tell what your intentions are just by looking at your body language! What to do and how to tackle this? Simple use this to your benefit from day one. Be clear about your intentions. If you want to be her friend act accordingly and if you want to get into a relationship with her, behave and act accordingly! Giving mixed signals to girls will land you nowhere and in the long run you will end up friend-zoning yourself,

Internet has spoiled all of us. The term friend-zone is a relatively new term (coined in the November 3rd, 1994 episode of the American television sitcom FRIENDS) or as the internet says its an “Urban Lingo”. I have no idea what it was called earlier and neither do I have any replacement word for the same. S it can be assumed that this Friend-zoning is a very development and clearly a creation of internet. So there are high chances that just like every other creation of the internet this too is just a phase and will soon pass without leaving any traceable trace.

But God forbid what if this is not just a “phase”!! What if this demonic friend-zone is here to stay? Well then also its good because there is a simple solution for it. If you are friend-zoned use that as your launch pad. Positive and best part of getting friend-zoned is that you get all the Intel of a girls life, every secret will be revealed to you. So stay there, hibernate there, be like a terrorist’s sleeper cell and get to know her, guide her, steer her from assholes, and when the time is right, jump straight out friend-zone to her relationship-zone!! Isn’t this the right thing to do, isn’t this what “nice guys” do.

So see getting “friend-zoned” is not at all bad and neither is “Friend-zone” a bad place to be!! 🙂
Cheers to “FRIEND-ZONE”!!